Here we go people. Just TWO DAYS until I'm in the
MTC! And I STILL don't know where I'm going. No word on my visa, and no word
from anyone else telling me I'm going to Provo; however, a little birdy told me
that Provo has received my information as if they are going to accept me
and they are just waiting last minute to see if my visa will come just in time
for me to make it to Brasil instead. So it looks like I'm heading to Provo
folks! Unless my visa shows up... Then I'll pass out with relief. I’m supposed to
leave tomorrow (Tuesday) for Brasil if I get my visa, otherwise I will leave
Wednesday morning for the Provo MTC. The anxiety is starting to affect my sleep,
so I decided to write about my preparation adventures.
Not like my visa is the main issue anymore. I lost my passport!
WHO DOES THAT? I thought maybe I could get away with it, that possibly I could
find it before the world found out, but no. Mom and I literally turned the
house inside-out and have found nothing. I was being so good about keeping
track of everything, and then all of a sudden my passport is MIA. I am so
embarrassed. If my visa comes before I find-slash-get-a-replacement-visa...
That is the definition of a cruel irony, my friends.
The good news is there is a place in Seattle that supposedly
replaces your lost and stolen passports in a day. IF you have
an itinerary that proves that you are leaving the country in a week
or less. As I explained earlier, I do not yet have my travel itinerary because
I don't have my visa. So. I can't get my passport because I don't have my visa,
and I can't use my visa because I lost my passport! Maybe I'm already in a
cruel irony... Darn. It’s not like I have the time to spend the last day I have
before I’m supposed to leave on replacing my passport anyway.
Are you hyperventilating yet? I sure was at this point. I could
not understand how I possessed the supreme stupidity that allowed me to LOSE my
PASSPORT, and somehow not realize it until the week before I had to leave. You
know when you pray for an answer or guidance, and you keep getting a prompting
that you’re not exactly sure how to follow through with? Let me tell you, I was
praying desperately to know where else I could possibly look for that stinking
blue book, and all I kept getting out of it was this profound thought:
“Mom should know
where your passport is.”
Well. I don’t know about many of you, but if I were to walk up to
my mom (who was graciously helping me search the entire house for the passport)
and tell her “Guess what Mom, you should know where the passport is”, life
would not be so happy. It seems like a really rude statement, no? After hours
of searching, I decided to sit down and work on some of my required online mission
prep. For the first time all day I felt like everything was going to be alright
and that I was doing what I needed to be doing. After another hour or so, I
went upstairs to check on a few things. Suddenly I hear Mom yelling:
"Sydnee! The passport isn't in the house!! You mailed it into the travel office when
you applied for your visa! They'll mail it to you when you get your visa. I finally
read this paper that I kept moving around all day, and it says all this right on
the top!"
Immediate embarrassed relief flooded throughout me. Seriously? How
could I forget that? At least I didn’t have to scramble and replace my passport…
Yeesh.
Fooled you, didn’t I? If I didn’t, you can surely get a chuckle
out of my unnecessary panicked search party. I know that I’m still laughing,
but maybe that is because I have gone insane.
I also think I'm in denial. I had the next 18 months of my life
spread out all over my floor in a neat, organized manner just waiting for me to
pack for almost a week before I loaded it into my suitcase, which is something I
really needed to do since my mission has strict weight limits on my luggage.
Because my transfers will all be by little planes, I am only allowed 1 checked
bag under 43 lbs and 1 carry-on bag that is under 15 lbs for my entire mission.
I’m sure that thinking, “Maybe if I just leave all my stuff out of my suitcase
until the day before I leave, it will all magically fit with plenty of pounds
to spare,” is an alarming sign that I am suffering from the lack of will to
comprehend the inevitable, aka, denial. Brilliant! No worries, I got it all to
fit… I’m pretty sure at least. I guess I should check that tomorrow.
Ok, I'll get off my "Podium of Whining" and start to try
to sound like the mature future missionary I am. I think that we all understand
that with a few hours left before my mission that I'm feeling a little bit
frazzled, but that doesn't mean that my life isn't enjoyable. Far from it,
actually! When things seem stressful and even a little hopeless, I hardly have
time to finish a prayer for help before things begin to fall into place. I
cannot even begin to tell you how blessed I feel as I have received words of
encouragement, both written and spoken, that have been much needed and appreciated.
I have had the opportunity to see family that I probably would not have seen
otherwise. I have had the opportunity to see one of my best friends be sealed
to her eternal companion, and I was able to support several more friends as
they went through the temple, which are things that I would have not been able
to do if I could not serve a mission at this time. My love for others has grown
as I have studied how to be a successful missionary, what to teach and how to
teach it.
Overall, to put things plainly, I have been happier over these
past crazy months than I have ever been before in my life. Even saying goodbye
to my closest friends has not been as difficult as I had imagined. As I let
them each go, I was filled with the greatest sense of peace and comfort. I know
that everything will be alright, even though things will change and I will miss
quite a few things. Eighteen months of anyone’s life is a short time, yet it is
plenty of time for anything to happen. This is not a sacrifice that I think
anyone takes lightly. 1 ½ years of minimum communication with those that you
care about most is not something that is easily signed up for, but I have been
given the strength and the peace that I need to know that everyone I care for
will be watched over. There’s a quote that I keep seeing, and I wish I could
find who said it, but it says:
“A missionary
leaves their family for two years so others can be with
theirs for eternity.”
-Someone...
That’s what I’m doing. I am leaving my family and friends, missing
graduations, important dances, bridal showers, weddings, baby blessings and so
much more, and it’s hard. It really is hard to dwell on these things, but
somehow I am not saddened by it. Instead I am filled with a peace, and I know
that while I cannot be there for everything, the important thing is that they
happened. Eighteen months is not long, and soon I will be home filled with
experiences that I never would have thought would happen to me. I know that I
will not regret the time spent in Brasil, but instead I will treasure it. I am
so excited to be able to serve the people of Manaus, and I hope that they will
be willing to listen to a 20-year-old girl’s testimony. Everything that I will
miss will be made worth it when I plant the seeds of eternity into the hearts
of individuals, and that those seeds will someday guide them to an eternal
family. Even if I do not see the end result of those that I teach, the
knowledge that I was there doing all that I can will make my sacrifice worth
it. I’m leaving my family for a short time so those that I find can have their
families forever, and that is something that I will never regret.
Lots of Love,
Almost(eep!)Irmã Jones
